Out of Place

Have you ever that those moments where you stop and re-evaluate your life? Well I had A LOT of those moment recently and shed some tears with it. Louis and I moved to Rexburg Idaho about a year ago (may 2012) so that Louis can attend school at BYU-I. I cried the first Sunday here, thinking that I was just homesick and I would get used to it. Then Louis was called to be in the Bishopric, which was hard, but I couldn't have been more happier and supportive for him! Since then (and not just because he was called to be in the bishopric) I have tried my ABSOLUTE hardest to make friends and make some great memories here that I can remember forever.. But lately I feel so distant and such a bother to everyone. I hardly have any friends here. The ones I was closest too have moved away.. I mean I have a few, but its not like a friendship where I can say "Hey, wanna grab lunch, or lets go shopping?" And when I do ask them to hang out I feel like they're just being nice.. Haha, its horrible! I feel like everyone else has their cliques and their close friends, and I'm such a loner! Haha, It's probably my fault, or my insecurities getting in the way. But its also hard when people only live here for a few months then move, so its like..What's the point in even trying? I don't think I am a hard person to get a long with, I don't think I'm rude. but maybe that's how others see me? Who knows, all I know is that if I didn't have an amazing husband and a wonderful baby to spend my time with, I think I would completely lose my sanity..

I have stopped to wonder why the Lord sent us to Rexburg. Although its a challenge, I really am thankful for this time, I have met a lot of great people. It's been hard feeling so alone, but I also know that others feel the same way. I just wonder if we are doing our part of the deal. In a weird way I feel like we were sent here for a reason, but lately I feel like I'm just here, and I'm not really helping anyone or doing anything productive.. OH well! This time is short, and we will be leaving here shortly. Until then, I'll strive to keep a positive attitude and see where that takes me! In the meantime, I'm gonna clean and bake!! =)